Rule 3 'Make friends with people who want the best for you'
Explore how Jordan Peterson's Rule 3 'Make friends with people who want the best for you' intertwines with the principles of Freemasonry, fostering personal growth, supportive relationships & success
It all begins with an idea – a simple, yet powerful rule. Jordan Peterson wrote in "12 Rules for Life: An Antidote to Chaos."
Rule 3: "Make friends with people who want the best for you."
It sounds straightforward, doesn't it?
However, Peterson's advice bears layers of meaning, each one asking us to pause, reflect, and assess the relationships with the people in our lives.
It's a call not for the pursuit of friendship with those who hold success or power, but for friendship with those who, in their hearts, wish nothing but our growth and happiness.
Consider your circle. You might find various characters:
The eternal optimist,
The devoted confidant,
The one who mirrors your joys and your sorrows with empathy.
These are the ones Peterson urges us to seek. Why? Let's dive deeper.
Think about the people you surround yourself with – they shape you, and you shape them.
We are, in essence, social chameleons, subtly adopting the habits, beliefs, and attitudes of those around us.
If our circle comprises people refusing to grow, drenched in negativity, or uncaring about our personal growth, we might find ourselves trapped and stunted. We stagnate when we should thrive.
You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.
- Jim Rohn
However, it's not just about finding people who wish the best for us. They must wish the best for themselves too.
Only then can the dance of mutual growth begin, in which all parties inspire one another to reach for the stars.
And of course, this dance requires support.
It is the sturdy pillar upon which true friendships stand. It's not about competing or one-upping each other, but about respect, uplifting words, and a shoulder to lean on in tough times.
But what if our circle contains shadows?
Friends who belittle our dreams, sabotage our efforts, or drain our joy?
Peterson's Rule 3 urges us to step away from toxic relationships. To understand that those who consistently undermine us, do not truly wish the best for us.
The rule's final layer asks us to evaluate.
To gaze inward and question: Do our relationships make us better people?
Do they add sunshine to our lives?
If not, it might be time for reassessment, for difficult decisions, and for change.
As we explore Peterson's Rule 3, we find parallels within our own Masonic principles.
Yes, we Freemasons are more than a fraternity. We are a fellowship built on values, a family bound by a shared quest for knowledge, and a beacon of light in a world often cloaked in shadows.
Our principle of Brotherly Love reflects Peterson's rule.
We are taught to view humanity as a united family, to offer respect to all, and to treat each other with kindness.
We practice tolerance and understanding, especially towards our brethren within the fraternity.
Relief, another Masonic cornerstone, resonates with Peterson's emphasis on support.
It urges us to lend aid to our brethren, whether it's financial, moral, or emotional. We deeply care for the welfare of our brethren and our community.
We as Masons must also uphold the value of Truth.
Like Peterson's Rule 3, our journey is a pursuit of truth, integrity, and moral standards.
Those who yearn for these qualities inevitably wish the best for themselves and others.
Moral Uprightness, symbolised by our square and compass, calls us to walk the path of righteousness, control our passions, and seek the company of those who inspire us to grow.
Finally, our focus on Self-Improvement aligns seamlessly with Peterson's encouragement for mutual growth.
Freemasonry, with its rich symbolism and allegories, is an invitation to learn, to grow, and to evolve. It asks us to surround ourselves with those who support and encourage this journey, mirroring Peterson's rule.
As Freemasons, we carry a unique responsibility to associate with good men, aiming to become better versions of ourselves together. We focus on building each other up, learning, and growing collectively.
But what happens when we apply these Masonic principles in light of Peterson's rule?
We see that they work together, creating a harmonious blend of lessons for self-improvement.
The people we meet in Freemasonry aren't just our brothers; they're mentors, mirrors, and motivators.
They inspire us to become better, more knowledgeable, and more generous. Being surrounded by this fraternity of like-minded individuals can enrich our character, fueling positive growth.
Mutual growth is embedded in the Masonic teachings. As we partake in Masonic ceremonies and studies, we step onto a shared path of spiritual and moral growth, enhancing our individual journeys.
Support is crucial within the Craft. We pledge to aid our brothers in times of need.
This commitment extends beyond material help to include emotional and moral support, embodying the essence of Peterson's rule.
As for toxic relationships, Freemasonry encourages discernment in our associations.
It urges us to gravitate towards virtuous individuals who inspire our moral and spiritual growth.
This focus inherently discourages harmful relationships, promoting healthier connections instead.
Self-evaluation forms a crucial part of the Masonic journey. We are encouraged to reflect upon our actions and experiences, learning from them. This extends to our relationships, helping us cultivate more fulfilling connections.
Teaching these lessons isn't achieved through mere discussion.
Freemasonry uses the stories contained in our ceremonies and symbols to convey moral lessons and truths.
Our involvement in these ceremonies and our commitment to the Craft allows us to learn and apply these principles in practical ways.
Furthermore, our community service initiatives offer us a chance to put these principles into action, benefiting ourselves and our wider communities.
Despite these principles and Peterson's rule providing a valuable framework for personal growth, ignoring them can have adverse consequences.
Surrounding ourselves with negative or unethical individuals can rub off on us, leading to detrimental life choices and stagnation in our personal development.
Similarly, without mutual growth in a relationship, we risk falling into complacency and missing valuable opportunities for self-improvement.
Without a supportive network, we might feel isolated and stressed, especially during difficult times.
This lack of social support can trigger mental health issues like anxiety and depression. Furthermore, staying in toxic relationships can lead to decreased self-esteem, increased stress, and potentially physical health problems over time.
These negative consequences mirror those of failing to adhere to Masonic principles.
The lack of personal growth, harmful relationships, and decreased sense of community and support can all result from ignoring these guidelines.
So, how can we better apply Peterson's Rule 3 and the associated Masonic principles in our lives?
Self-reflection:
Assess your current relationships and consider how they impact you. Are your current friends supportive, encouraging, and mutually beneficial? Are they helping you become a better person?Setting Boundaries:
Learn to set and maintain boundaries. Be firm about what behaviour you will accept from others and stay true to your standards.Seek out Positive Relationships:
Actively seek to establish relationships with those who are positive, uplifting, and supportive. This could involve engaging in new activities, clubs, or social groups where you might meet such people.Become a Freemason:
If you're not already a Freemason and the principles align with your values, consider becoming one.
You'd need to express your interest to a Freemason or directly to a Masonic lodge, as the first step towards membership is usually to "ask".
(Please contact me if you wish to ask to become a Mason and I can help)
Now, for Masons who feel they aren't getting this from their current lodge:
Open Communication:
Try discussing your concerns with your lodge's leadership. They may not be aware of the issue and may be able to address it.Visit Other Lodges:
Consider visiting other lodges in your area or even in other areas. Each lodge has its own unique culture, and you might find one that better aligns with what you're seeking. You can affiliate with another lodge if it better suits you.Reach out to your District or Grand Lodge:
You can also contact your District Grand Inspector of Work (DGIW) or the Grand Lodge Membership Officer if you're struggling with your current lodge. They may provide advice or help facilitate connections with other lodges.
(You can also contact me for a private conversation as well)Private Discussion:
If you're uncomfortable discussing this publicly, consider reaching out privately to a trusted fellow Mason or to a Masonic mentor who can provide guidance.Forming or Reconstituting a Lodge:
If you have a group of about 20 like-minded brethren who share your concerns and aspirations, you might consider petitioning the Grand Master to form a new lodge or to reconstitute a lodge that has previously surrendered its charter.
This is a significant step and should be carefully considered, but it can be a way to establish a lodge culture that aligns with your Masonic ideals.
Finally, remember, growth is a journey, not a destination.
Whether we're guided by Peterson's rules or Masonic principles, the goal remains the same - to become better, to grow, and to positively impact those around us.
As we walk this path, it's crucial to surround ourselves with those who will walk with us, supporting, uplifting, and encouraging us every step of the way.
Let's make friends with those who want the best for us, whether it's in the halls of a university, within the solemn chambers of a Masonic lodge, or in the everyday walks of life.
By doing so, we empower not only ourselves but also those around us to become better, reinforcing Peterson's rule and our Masonic principles in a dance of mutual growth and shared success.