Rule 2: Treat yourself like someone you are responsible for helping
Caught in the rush of life, we often forget to care for ourselves while tending to others. Dive into our new piece exploring Jordan Peterson's Rule 2 and where this is found in Freemasonry
In the day-to-day rush of life, it's easy to find ourselves placing the needs of others before our own.
It's an act that seems noble, and in many ways, it indeed is. However, have you ever taken a moment to ponder the impact this might have on your own well-being?
As we look into the Masonic Principles that are found in Dr Jordan B. Peterson’s acclaimed book, "12 Rules for Life: An Antidote to Chaos", he shares a piece of wisdom that's worth us all taking to heart.
Rule 2: "Treat yourself like someone you are responsible for helping."
At first glance, this could appear somewhat odd. Aren't we all responsible for ourselves, after all?
The answer is yes, of course.
However, Peterson draws our attention to a puzzling paradox. While we're quick to tend to others with great care, we often neglect ourselves in the process.
Consider this: A pet falls ill.
Its owner speeds it to the vet and rigorously administers the prescribed medicine. The owner doesn't skip a dose.
But now, picture the same owner.
They catch a cold and receive a prescription from their doctor, but end up neglecting to take the medication as directed. It's curious, isn't it? Yet it’s something many do all too often.
Peterson argues that we often succumb to such self-neglect due to a deep-rooted sense of unworthiness or self-disdain.
Dr Jordan B Peterson insists that this is a cycle we need to break.
We have to learn to value ourselves, acknowledge our own worth, and extend the same compassion to ourselves that we readily offer to others.
And it isn't merely about adhering to a medication schedule. It’s teaching us that we must honour our needs, nurture healthy relationships, set fitting boundaries, and take strides towards improving our lives.
That we must treat ourselves with kindness and care, not as an afterthought, but as a fundamental necessity.
These ideas are not confined to the realm of individual practice or modern self-development.
In fact, they find a mirror in the teachings of Freemasonry.
Though our Masonic principles may not express "treat yourself like someone you are responsible for helping" explicitly, the sentiment is there, woven within the lessons found within our ceremonies.
In Freemasonry, we are taught to construct our 'inner temple'.
This isn't a physical edifice of bricks and mortar, but a metaphor for personal growth.
As Masons, we are encouraged to strive for moral and ethical self-improvement.
We learn to respect ourselves and to attend to our physical, mental, and spiritual well-being. In essence, we learn to treat ourselves with the kindness and care we so freely extend to others.
Freemasonry also promotes the principle of 'brotherly love', a call to respect and care for all humankind.
Yet, before we can genuinely respect and care for others, we must first learn to respect and care for ourselves.
Our Masonic principles serve as a guide on how to be as individuals and how to interact with others. They implore us to exhibit Brotherly Love, Relief, and Truth.
However, we must first embody these principles within ourselves before we can sincerely extend them to others.
During our Masonic ceremonies, we learn to assist others without compromising ourselves or our connections.
We're reminded not to extend our help beyond our means, be it time, money, or other resources. In essence, we are taught to find a balance and to care for ourselves in a manner that enables us to effectively care for others.
Now, understanding the alignment between Peterson's Rule 2 and our Masonic teachings, it becomes clear that both systems emphasise the importance of self-care, not as a self-centred act, but as an essential one.
But how do we put this wisdom into practice? How do we ensure that we are not only supporting others but also caring for ourselves?
Setting Personal Boundaries:
Clear boundaries are key to maintaining a healthy relationship with yourself and others. You could begin by defining what is acceptable and unacceptable behaviour from others and don't shy away from communicating these boundaries. This will help you manage your time and energy effectively and prevent unnecessary stress and burnout.Regular Health Checks:
Just like a pet taken to the vet, regular health checks are a fundamental aspect of taking care of oneself. Schedule and keep appointments with your doctor, dentist, and any other specialists you need. Treat your health as your top priority.Proper Nutrition and Exercise:
Make a conscious effort to fuel your body with nutritious food and commit to a regular exercise routine. This could be as simple as going for a walk every day, doing yoga, or participating in any physical activity you enjoy.Rest and Recuperation:
Ensure you get an adequate amount of sleep. Don't overwork yourself to the point of exhaustion (or go and join every Masonic Order so that you are out every night). It's okay to take breaks, and it's okay to rest. Just like how you'd insist a loved one rest if they were overworked, you need to grant yourself the same kindness.Saying No:
Learning to say "no" is a powerful way to care for yourself. When you feel overwhelmed or stretched too thin, it's crucial to decline additional responsibilities. This goes back to the Masonic teachings about not extending help beyond your means.
There is an important distinction to be made here. The emphasis is on additional responsibilities, not declining to fulfil existing responsibilities.
This means, not taking on another office or extra work, it by no means states that you can neglect the responsibilities you have accepted. If you have already accepted responsibility, the lesson is still to fulfil your existing responsibilities and decline additional ones.Self-Care Rituals:
Develop a regular routine of activities that make you feel good. This could include reading a book, taking a long bath, meditating, or even just sitting quietly with a cup of tea.Applying Rule 1: Peterson's Rule 1 from "12 Rules for Life" is "Stand up straight with your shoulders back". Applying this rule can mean physically maintaining a confident posture, but it also implies tackling life’s challenges head-on and not shying away from responsibilities, including the responsibility of taking care of yourself.
Invest in Personal Growth:
Actively seek opportunities for learning and personal development. It could be through reading, attending seminars, studying our masonic principles contained in the ceremonies, or going to Lodge. Treat personal growth as an investment in yourself.Healthy Social Interactions:
Spend time with people who respect you and treat you well. Seek out relationships and friendships that are beneficial to your well-being, and disengage from those that drain or harm you.Mental Health Care:
Don't neglect your mental health. If you're feeling anxious, depressed, or overwhelmed, seek help. There's no shame in reaching out to a therapist or counsellor. Just as we would advise a friend to seek help when they're struggling, we need to give ourselves the same advice.
Jordan Peterson's Rule 2 and the teachings of Freemasonry are two sides of the same coin. Both underscore the importance of self-care, not as a selfish act, but as a necessary one.
When we're at our best, we're better equipped to assist others.
It's not about being self-absorbed or neglecting others. It's about maintaining a balance. It's about recognizing that to effectively provide for others, we must first provide for ourselves.
And so, we come full circle back to Peterson's Rule 2: "Treat yourself like someone you are responsible for helping."
So, the next time you're in a hurry to assist someone else, take a pause. Remember Rule 2. Remember to care for yourself too.
Because a candle can't light others if its own flame has been extinguished.