How Freemasonry Teaches Friendship in a Lonely World
In a world where industries exist for leadership, parenting, eating, exercise, and sleep, there's a noticeable gap when it comes to teaching people how to be good friends. This void is particularly concerning given the rising mental health challenges faced by men today, often stemming from loneliness and a lack of social connection.
However, there is an institution that has, since time immemorial, addressed the art of friendship: Freemasonry.
This edition of Daily Masonic Progress will explore how Freemasonry, through its principles and ceremonies, teaches its members to not just be be good friends, but brothers by fostering deep, meaningful connections in an increasingly isolated world.
Freemasonry's approach to friendship is rooted in its three grand principles: brotherly love, relief, and truth. These principles are not mere abstractions but are actively taught and reinforced through the organization's ceremonies and practices. The initiation ceremony, for instance, serves as a powerful introduction to the Masonic concept of friendship.
When a new member is initiated into Freemasonry, they undergo a transformative experience that strips away external markers of identity and status. The initiate enters the lodge wearing the same attire as everyone else, devoid of personal belongings that might indicate their social or economic standing. This process of humbling oneself is crucial in establishing the foundation for genuine friendships within the brotherhood. By removing external differences, Freemasonry creates an environment where members can connect on a deeper level, based on character rather than superficial attributes.
The initiation ceremony also introduces the concept of trust through the taking of an obligation. This obligation, often misunderstood by outsiders as merely about keeping secrets, is actually a commitment to personal integrity. By making this commitment, the new member is entrusted with certain Masonic secrets, such as handshakes and signs. These secrets serve a dual purpose: they are a tangible demonstration of the trust placed in the new member, and they create a shared experience that bonds members together.
This shared experience is crucial in forming deep connections. Much like soldiers who have been to war together or friends who have survived a dangerous situation, Freemasons who have undergone the same ceremonies have a unique bond. This bond goes beyond what can be achieved by simply reading about Freemasonry online or watching videos. It's a lived experience that creates an unspoken context and emotional connection between members.
Another key lesson in Masonic friendship comes from the "northeast charge," a part of the initiation ceremony that focuses on charity. However, the Masonic concept of charity goes beyond mere monetary donations. It emphasizes the sacrifice of one's time and effort for the benefit of others. This lesson aligns with modern thoughts on friendship, such as those expressed by Simon Sinek, who argues that we often sacrifice friendships for work commitments when it should be the other way around.
Interestingly, the northeast charge also indirectly teaches an important aspect of friendship that is often overlooked: the importance of asking for help. While the charge emphasizes the duty to help others, it's the act of asking for help that truly builds trust and deepens friendships. By asking for help, we give others the opportunity to be there for us, strengthening our bond in the process.
As Freemasons progress through the degrees, they encounter further lessons on friendship. The second and third degrees build upon the foundation laid in the first, introducing new secrets and obligations that deepen the concept of brotherhood. The third degree, in particular, emphasizes a level of friendship that goes beyond casual acquaintance, teaching members to stand by each other through "difficulty and danger."
This deep level of brotherhood taught in Freemasonry includes daily thoughts or prayers for one's brothers, especially those in need of assistance or support. It involves helping brothers overcome weaknesses and relieving their necessities, which could range from basic needs like food to more complex emotional support. Importantly, it also teaches the value of confidentiality, emphasizing the need to keep a brother's secrets and personal struggles private.
Another crucial aspect of Masonic friendship is the concept of defending a brother's character, both in their presence and absence. This doesn't mean blindly excusing wrongdoing, but rather ensuring fair treatment and not allowing baseless criticism. It involves standing up for a brother who has made an effort, even if they've failed, against those who criticize from the sidelines without offering help.
Freemasonry also teaches members to regard their brothers' interests as their own. This doesn't refer to financial interests, but rather a genuine interest in the things that are important to their brothers' lives. It's about engaging with and supporting the things that matter to your friends as if they mattered to you personally.
The installation ceremony introduces the concept of "disinterested friendship," which emphasizes that Masonic friendships should not be based on potential personal gain. Instead, they should be founded on genuine care and mutual support.
In conclusion, Freemasonry offers a comprehensive guide to forming and maintaining deep, meaningful friendships in a world where such connections are increasingly rare. Through its ceremonies, principles, and practices, it teaches members to humble themselves, build trust, sacrifice for others, ask for help, maintain confidentiality, defend each other's character, and take a genuine interest in each other's lives. In doing so, Freemasonry not only enriches the lives of its members but also provides a model for addressing the epidemic of loneliness and disconnection in modern society. As we grapple with the challenges of an increasingly isolated world, perhaps we can learn from this time-honored institution about the true nature of friendship and brotherhood.